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Funny car stories

Car adverts would have us believe that cars are smooth, seductive and cool. A car doesn’t just get you from A to B, it’s a way of impressing people and of showing who you are as a person: low emission cars for the environment-conscious, cars with lots of storage for big families, etc. But while they can give you plenty of James Bond moments, cars can also be a source of great hilarity, as evidenced in our top five funny car stories...

• 1) When one driver was confronted with the sight of a fellow driver naughtily double-parking, he decided to get his own back by leaving the following hilarious note. ‘Dear Person. I am sorry I put a dent in your car. I am not leaving my details because you chose to use two spaces and I just wanted one… The scratches are because I used a towel that had sand on it to try and clean the dent up’.
• 2) Some car owners may like to be kind to the environment, perhaps by walking where possible or driving a hybrid car. But one car owner took it too far recently when she stopped to help an injured baby rabbit… which promptly crawled into her dashboard and died. Unfortunately, it then had to remain there for several days until they could work out how to free the body and apparently, the smell still lingers.
• 3) Those in the insurance industry have a reputation for being on the dull side, but they have their fun. Previous real-life insurance claims have included: "I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment”, and "In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole”. Maybe a career in insurance wouldn’t be so boring.
• 4) One motorist found a novel way to get rid of houseguests, after she was overcome with nausea in her convertible car. As she was giving them a tour of the town (roof down so they could see the sights), she suddenly felt extremely ill. Leaning over the side of the car to be sick, she didn’t calculate the strength of the wind… and promptly managed to vomit all over her friends in the back seat. They cut short their visit soon after.
• 5) An American woman had an excellent excuse for being late one day, after she lost her keys in a novel way. When a possum broke into her home looking for scraps she panicked and threw her keys at it, which the animal then sat on… and refused to budge! After an hour or two of coaxing he finally moved on, but not before he’d made the woman extremely late for work.

Whether you own a Honda or a Hummer, Renault or Reliant Robin, all cars have the propensity for farce, and can be a source of embarrassment. If anything like the above stories happens to you, don’t go red but keep your head held high: at least you have a good story to tell at dinner parties!